Sexy Pizza
Sexy Pizza
Sexy Pizza is a New Student Outreach event where students get free pizza and participate in a 30 minute group discussion about what the Bible has to say about sex. As part of NSO, the University of Idaho, Oregon State University, and Willamette IVCF staff hosted a Sexy Pizza event. The University of Idaho and OSU used a question and answer format for Sexy Pizza while Willamette did an apologetic style talk. See the different formats below- U of I Overview, Willamette Overview, OSU Overview and verses/reference sheet used by UI and Willamette.
Location: University of Idaho. 10,000 students, mostly Caucasian and drawing from smaller, more conservative towns. “Sexy Pizza” itself was situated right outside of an all freshman dorm, on a large lawn.
Date: August 22nd (First Wednesday of the school year, day before our first large group)
Time: 6 PM
Advertising: About 350 “Sexy Pizza” flyers were made and handed out, we used the “Everything Matters” .pdf from the staff site (the two people making out, obviously). We handed the flyers out during all elements of NSO and during the lunch hours during the first week of school. We also had an events page on facebook and paid for 2500 facebook “flyers” to be sent out in the U of I network. The flyers and the facebook page, as well as individual follow-up yielded the most fruit.
Research: Donan and Jeremiah (Donan co-moderated the event) read Sex God by Rob Bell, What Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Sex by Matthew Paul Turner and Authentic Human Sexuality by Judith and Jack Balswick.
Leaders Team prep: During our first leaders team meeting, Donan and I (Jeremiah) had a mini “Sexy Pizza” with our team. The leaders supplied the questions and follow up questions. I think that this prepared them for what they were inviting people to and it helped Donan and I be sharper than we may have been.
Event: We hoped for about 200 people to show up for pizza (we ordered 36 large pizzas!) and about 75 to stay for discussion. We ended up with 50-75 attending for pizza and about 35 staying for discussion (interestingly, lower on pizza attendance, but a higher retention rate than could’ve been hoped for). We set up outside with sandwich boards, tables and flyers. We also had a speaker system set up and music playing loudly in the background. I encouraged our students who weren’t out gathering people, to toss disc and keep the mood light. We started milling about at 5:45, most of our attendees came from being invited in this period…we should’ve set up at 5:15! We spent about 30 minutes outside socializing before we moved in to an adjacent classroom for the discussion. While moving inside limited walk in attendance, I think that the privacy made for better discussion.
Discussion: Donan and I started by welcoming people and introducing IV and its meeting times. We segued into the event by introducing ourselves and talking about our attitudes and experience with sex coming into college. This time was well spent and I think that it did a lot to legitimize us as real people. Most of the questions that came up were pretty standard if looking at the sheet from the chapter builders. Here are the questions that I remember:
· Does the bible ever actually condemn sex before marriage?
· Oral sex…? (this was the actual question!)
· What does the bible have to say about masturbation?
· Why does the bible condemn homosexuality? Is homosexuality biological? Can a Christian be pro-gay rights? (separate questions, but we answered them as one)
· Is “friends with benefits” okay if there is no intercourse?
· If you are raped or abused, are you still a virgin? (this was leaders team question)
Donan and I started the discussion by admitting that not all these questions have answers in scripture. That we will provide scriptural answers where the exist and answers that emerge from “biblical worldview” when necessary. We warned people to take scripture much more seriously than our thoughts.
Obviously any questions about homosexuality need to be answered with care. Donan and I strove to be biblical, but also full of grace and humility. We admitted to not knowing why attractions that are counter to God’s will exist, and we were careful to acknowledge than not all of OUR attractions are Godly, and that our sexual sin is no worse or better than attraction and action with the same gender. We were also careful to remind our audience that the bible condemns homosexual acts, not attractions. The most contentious moment came when during this discussion a member of our leaders team speculated that homosexuality on the biological level was part of living in a fallen world and compared homosexual feelings to mental retardation. Ouch. Also, this part of the discussion tended to get Christians in the room excited about “real sex produces babies” which got under the skin of people who are worried about over-population. A couple of mines to watch out for…
After about 40 minutes of discussion, Donan and I closed the discussion. I shared a simple gospel message using the woman caught in adultery from John. I equated all of us needing to be the woman and stand bare and honestly before Jesus, but reminded us that our temptations are to be the stone throwers or the absentee lover (the man who is not being accused). I invited to have all who wanted to know more about how to let Jesus give us a fresh start to talk to Donan and I afterward. One pre-Christian girl talked to Donan for a long time following and came to our large group the next night. At large group she told me that something was changing in her heart and that she was feeling Jesus wanting in. She is not ready yet to let Him in, but she feels “close”. She has been a practicing bi-sexual and I don’t feel she would’ve come to a bible study or large group without this kind of start.
After the gospel invitation and prayer, Donan I gave away Sex God and What Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Sex. I hope these keep the conversation going.
Final Thoughts:
Get out there early on the day of! I truly believe that half of our attendees were walk up, so get out there early!
Many questions were about campus stats that the U of I doesn’t poll on. If your school does, then give out all the sex stats you can find!
Dirty looking flyers helped
Get your leaders excited. When they got enthusiastic, the invites doubled. Also, our leaders excitement has given them a real a sense that they can pull off big events.
Having a man and woman up front was good. If you have that opportunity, take it!
Sexy Pizza helped advertise for Palouseafest
Using contact cards during the entire NSO week received better responses than using a sign-up sheet. Students had more options and could choose specifically what they were interested in. Fifty students signed contact cards during the NSO events.
Location: Willamette University
Date: August 29th (First Wednesday of the school year, day before first large group)
Time: 6 PM
Advertising: Our advertising was posters across campus, and flyers the day of the event. This was good. In the future I would put up more posters and maker sure the posters and flyers had InterVarsity written on them somewhere. But a lot of people seem to have seen the posters and said they knew the event was happening.
Research: Kim Porter read They Like Jesus But Not The Church by Dan Kimball and Evangelism Additives by Jim Henderson
Leadership Team Prep: We had 6 staff and 2 volunteer students at the event. Anna-Lisa talked to them before the event and told them what we was looking for in volunteers (to mingle and make sure no one was excluded - good conversation always happening.) It was really great having volunteers there, made less work for us as we was trying to get to know new students.
Follow-up: We gave out response cards at sexy pizza. Our follow up was to in the next 2 days go and get to know each of the people that filled out a response card, or that we just knew were around. We also had a service activity planned for that Saturday, that although it was very enjoyable, no one new came to it.
Event: Willamette took a different approach than the University of Idaho. Instead of doing an open discussion answering the students questions in a question/answer format, Kim gave a positive and up-beat apologetic style talk about what the Bible says about sex. She read some examples of misconceptions and judgmental experiences people have had in regards to Christians' view of sex. The students watched a short clip of a survey and then talked about (WJDD) What Jesus Didn't Do. For example, with the Samaritan woman, Jesus doesn’t preach at her, or make some condition to following him, “you better clean up you act or you are going to spend eternity in the fires of hell.” Doesn’t make her feel like dirt – in fact she is so jazzed after her time with Jesus, that she goes into town and gathers everyone she can find, “come and listen to this amazing guy Jesus. I think he is the real deal.” The form Kim used worked really well, and people were able to engage in what she was saying. I don't know how well a question answer talk would have gone at Willamette since students here tend to over-intellectualize things. An apologetic style talk worked better than a question and answer discussion because of the audience.
To view an outline of Kim's talk, click here.
Final Thoughts:
The Good:
Posters as advertising
Timing of invitations beforehand.
Personal invites in dorms
It was helpful to have a lot of minglers.
Outside help was great to take care of details while staff from the
school could talk to people.
The not so good:
Too much time before we got the talk started.
It would be helpful to have a code from people at tables to signal that
it is time to start.
Having a big poster right outside would be good.
Table-ing the few days beforehand would be good.
Check out school food policies first. Willamette is 2 weeks prior to the
event?
Kim’s talk:
Phrases used were fun (bad PR, Red letters, WJDD)
Good personal story. People could connect with it.
One-on-one interactions of Jesus were good examples
Apology was well done and powerful.
Not blindly accept or reject
Everyone is a seeker.
IV is about being “for” something.
Read more cards of people’s responses.
OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY- Overview
Location: Oregon State University. The event was held in the Finley Hall Main Floor Lounge. This is a residential hall with 355 students. An IV Bible study is here.
Date: Sept 26th, 2007
Time: 6:30 pm
Advertising: We made 20 large posters to be put up inside the two dorm halls that we have Bible Studies in. We also made about 600 smaller flyers to hand out in the days before the event. About half actually were distributed. The day before the event, I (Ben) set up a table inside Finley Hall with the permission of the RD and invited students as the walked by. My Co-leader and I also did it the day of. 30 minutes before the event, every door was knocked on and most people in the hall received a personal invitation. Flyers were also handed out at other locations around campus such as the rec center and dining halls. Most of the people who came were from the table in the hall and the personal invites prior to the event.
Research: “They like Jesus but Not the Church” by Dan Kimball was helpful for understanding the audience. “Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals” by William J. Webb was helpful for some critical thinking on how to interpret scripture. I also did some Greek word studies on some key phrases often used in discussions about sex and the Bible such as Male prostitutes, sodomites, sexual immorality, lust, etc. I compiled a list (not an exhaustive list) of some good scriptures to look at that I will include.
Leader’s Prep: we talked at our leader’s team meeting about how the focus of the week was to get people to sexy pizza. There was a big push to follow-up after the event. Both of our leader’s did a good job inviting people from their halls.
Event: We were hoping for around 100 people to show up and bought 25 pizzas. This would be 2 slices for 100 people. There were around 80 people who showed up and 55 or so that stayed for the discussion. It was held in a high traffic area so there were a lot of people who just walked by and stayed for a while. There was a greeter at the entrance to the room inviting people the entire length of the event. People started showing up at 6:30 and we were serving pizza for about 20 minutes before getting started. As students went through the line, they were encouraged to pick up an index card and write a question they had on it and then turn it in to a box at the front of the room. I had to encourage people to do it a few times. People seemed to by pretty shy about asking questions. There was also a table with all of IV’s info in the back for people to check out if they were interested.
Discussion: I began by sharing about IV and then telling my story of my experience with sexuality and Jesus prior to and during college. I think this was the most enjoyable part for people there. Then the hope were was to have a good give and take discussion about sex and Jesus where people would say what they thought and others would respond. This never really was able to get going save for a few people. I believe this was due to the fact that hardly anyone actually wrote down a question and the questions that were written were difficult to turn into a discussion. I intentionally did not ask a few because of this. Here are the questions that were asked:
There were two “planted questions” by a staff worker. These were “why is sex before marriage so wrong?” (the question that yielded the best discussion of the evening) and “oral sex?” That one was stolen from the UI group because it is a really funny question.
I would read a question and then ask the audience to respond. Like I said before, not many people were comfortable chiming in. I would let a few people share and then say what I thought. This often involved reading a scripture or two. People would then respond to that. Then I would move on to the next question.
I closed the discussion when I ran out of questions. It felt a little awkward to do that but I felt it necessary. The next thing I did was offer an apology to anyone who has ever felt hurt by the church because of their sexuality. I said that we have not modeled Jesus to them. I then shared the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery to express how Jesus does not condemn us but calls us into something more. I invited people to come check out Jesus for themselves. After the event, a guy came up to me to ask questions about how I read scripture and interpret certain things. He said he used to be a Christian until he started asking questions that no one could answer. I will probably be seeing more of him in the future.
Final Thoughts:
Read the verses the OSU team used for their discussion: OSU Verses
Sexy Pizza Reference Sheet (by Jeremiah Nealon)
Adultery
(Sexual Immorality)-
Duet 22:21-24- 20-21 But if it turns out that the accusation is true and there is no evidence of the girl's virginity, the men of the town are to take her to the door of her father's house and stone her to death. She acted disgracefully in Israel. She lived like a whore while still in her parents' home. Purge the evil from among you. 22 If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both must die. Purge that evil from Israel. 23-24 If a man comes upon a virgin in town, a girl who is engaged to another man, and sleeps with her, take both of them to the town gate and stone them until they die—the girl because she didn't yell out for help in the town and the man because he raped her, violating the fiancée of his neighbor. You must purge the evil from among you. (Message)
Jesus condemning sexual immorality- Matthew 15:18-20- 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' " (NIV)
Paul- 1 Corinthians 6:12-20- 12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[b] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (NIV)
Homosexuality
Romans 1:26-27- Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way
the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men,
and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
Jacob’s Wives
Leah (older) and Rachel (younger). Genesis 29.
David and Bathsheba
2 Samuel 11,12; Psalm 51
Jesus and Woman
John 4
John 8
Luke 7:36-50
Lust
Matthew 5:27-30
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[e] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Men and Women
Ephesians 5:22-33
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
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